“I ran into the arms of Jesus.”
If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and heard a voice list everything that needs fixing before you’ve had your coffee, or wondered whether God can really use you in the body you have right now, pull up a chair.
Chrissy sits down with Laurel Taylor, a country singer-songwriter in Nashville who grew up in Montgomery, Alabama, and has gone from the American Idol stage to leading worship at her local church. Laurel tells the story of leaving for Music City at 18 with her mind made up, losing nearly everything she’d built, and cutting off her old life cold turkey to head home to a mom who met her with open arms. Chrissy walks through four of Laurel’s songs as a pattern for healing from shame, and Laurel opens up about her own body image struggles and the lies she still has to talk back to.
Here's what we cover:
How Laurel’s homecoming played out like the prodigal son’s, and why she had to run hard and fast instead of easing out of her old life
Why Chrissy hears Healed, One Step, Sound of Freedom, and Old House as steps to freedom in Christ, in that order, from longing for healing to leaving the past behind
The church marquee that sparked Old House, and the odd timing of the breakthrough that arrived two weeks after she released Sound of Freedom
The body image struggles that followed Laurel home to the South, and her decision to skip the crash diet and protein shakes before her music video
What she does when the lies show up: she speaks the bridge of Healed over them, puts on the armor each morning, and lies on her Bible when she feels defeated
How a friend who lost his dad five months ago hears Old House as a song about grief, and why that matters for anyone stuck in a house they’ve outgrown
Why Chrissy’s friend from Arkansas says to mind your own bobber, and what Laurel learned about tuning out voices that mean nothing
When Chrissy asks about the last time Laurel felt true freedom, her answer has nothing to do with a breakthrough moment on a stage. It came the day she stopped worrying about everyone else’s opinion and started listening for the shepherd’s voice. If you’re pursuing Christian food freedom and the old soundtrack keeps playing, her story shows what it looks like to keep walking anyway.
“Baby, I am the table. I just need you to pull up a chair and sit down.” - Laurel Taylor
Which lie has followed you the longest, and what would it sound like to answer it with something God has already said about you? If Jesus handed you a new address today, what’s the first thing you’d leave in the old house?
We’d love to hear your thoughts, so please drop us an email at admin@findingbalance.com, send us a voice message via SpeakPipe, or you can also subscribe for more practical episodes coming your way.
More About Laurel Taylor
Laurel Taylor is an artist and singer/songwriter in Nashville, Tennessee. Originally from Montgomery, Alabama, she moved to Music City ten years ago. From the American Idol stage to leading worship at her local church, her voice and sound speak to every crowd. Laurel has a raw country sound, a ministry mindset, and her own unique style. She uses life stories to speak to people through her music and released her latest single, "Old House," in January 2023.
Connect with Laurel Taylor
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CHRIST-CENTERED RESOURCES TO HELP YOU FIND FREEDOM
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CREDITS:
Intro music by “MokkaMusic” – Old Jeans (Funk)
Production & Editing by Marketing With Wisdom
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The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or prescribe a particular course of action. If you have, or suspect you may have, an eating disorder, please consult your healthcare provider. If you desire to receive faith-based care, visit ChristianTreatmentFinder.com to browse professionals with a Kingdom campaign against eating disorders.
The unedited transcript for this episode of Old School Food Freedom
Meet Laurel Taylor
Chrissy Kirkman [00:00:42]: We're so glad you're here with us today. Let's get into today's episode. Laurel Taylor, welcome to the Old School Food Freedom Podcast. How are you? I'm so good. I'm so glad you're here. I have been wanting to have you on the show for a while. So before we get into all the good stuff, I'm going to just tell our listeners about you. Laurel Taylor is an artist and singer-songwriter in Nashville, Tennessee.Chrissy Kirkman [00:01:09]: Originally from Montgomery, Alabama, she made her move to Music City 10 years ago. From the American Idol stage to the local church leading worship, her voice and sound speaks to every crowd. Laurel has a raw country sound, ministry mindset, and her own unique style, using her life stories to speak to people through her music. Her latest single, Old House, released in January of this past year, 2023. I love this song so much. Okay, so here's a little backstory. We got to meet Laurel, our Finding Balance team got to meet Laurel in Franklin, Tennessee at The Factory in the summer of last year, 2022. And, um, had just the greatest time talking together, getting to know each other.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:01:54]: And in the parking lot, like, there's nothing that's ever been so Nashville. Like, that was my first, like, this is so Nashville. She gets her guitar out and plays a couple songs for us. And she's like, hey, do you want to hear my new song? It's not out. You got to promise not to share it if you record it. I stood there. I have sunglasses on. I stood there sobbing.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:02:14]: Like, no one's knowing. I'm just trying to choke down the tears. And when she's done, she's like, so what'd you think? I take my sunglasses off and I'm just like mascara, Tammy Faye Bakker style. Like, it was, it was so moving. And the song has changed since then. And it still affects me every single time I listen to it because it is so relevant to who, like, you're not who you were in the past. Like, that's, that's who I maybe thought I was supposed to be back then. I'm not this way now.
The Old-School Item Laurel Misses
Chrissy Kirkman [00:02:45]: We're going to get more into Old House. But first, we're going to kick off the show. I'd like to ask you a question. What old-school item do you miss from back in the day?Laurel Taylor [00:02:55]: I would say, honestly, any kind of sharpener. You know, when you had those, like, it caught your shavings.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:03:06]: Yes.
Laurel Taylor [00:03:07]: My favorite, because, like, one, you ain't got to go anywhere to get your pencil sharpened. And you had those electric ones that it's embarrassing to walk in front of the whole class and be like, Just sharpen a pencil and you go like trip or something. No, the ones that literally you just pull out and you just, that's so cool. Like nobody does that anymore, you know? Nobody has those. Maybe for makeup, but not really, you know what I mean? Right.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:03:26]: So true. Eyeliner. I actually still have, and there is something sensory about the turning and, and holding that little sharpener in your hand, like the little container that, that gets all the, and just turning the pencil and hearing it and feeling that you're making some kind of progress and then Getting it out and inspecting it. That's good. That's nostalgic. Well, Laurel, do you want to start by telling just a, like, a high-level overview of your story, whatever you feel led to share about where God has brought you?
Laurel's Story: From Alabama to Nashville
Laurel Taylor [00:03:58]: Yeah, absolutely. You know, I knew I wanted to do music from a very young age, and I grew up in a Christian home. And I think for me, I felt like I was living I was living out my salvation through my parents. I didn't have a true relationship with Jesus. My mom and my dad absolutely loved the Lord, was in church every time the doors were open, and they would take me every time the doors were open. And, you know, I just didn't care. I didn't care to be there. I didn't care to hear what the Lord had to say.Laurel Taylor [00:04:28]: Any truth, I didn't welcome it in my life. And so I knew at 18 I was leaving for Nashville. I chose not to go to college. And I was a huge sports fan. I love softball. And, you know, I thought maybe I could do that in college or, you know, but I'll tell you real quick, my grades weren't good enough. I was so focused on music. I never really tried on like the ACT and things for school.
Laurel Taylor [00:04:57]: And so I just knew my mind was made up, like, I'm going to Nashville, I'm going to dream university, pretty much.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:05:05]: Yeah.
Laurel Taylor [00:05:06]: Or watch your dreams die. And so I started out on Broadway and, you know, people told me all the time, like, go home, drink your milk, and go to bed. And, you know, I did that for about a week and then I really got into the party scene and I was getting to where you couldn't trust me, you couldn't rely on me. And I started losing things left and right. I mean, even in the first month or two, like, it was just, I would have this This happened to me because the Lord wanted to give it to me. And then He knew, like, what I was going to do with it. So He allowed all these things to happen. And so I just watched my life basically decline in such a terrible way.
Laurel Taylor [00:05:52]: I know God's hand was on me the whole time. It was just really hard to trust Him because I didn't have that faith. I didn't have that foundation in my own heart built. for the Lord. And so, you know, people always say, like, do you think He put you through that? No, I don't think— I think I chose that life. I chose to walk the homosexuality lifestyle. I chose to drink. I chose to smoke.
Laurel Taylor [00:06:20]: I chose to be around those people. But He allowed it because He knew He was going to turn something so wrong and so deadly to something so beautiful that I can use for His glory. And so that's like the long story short. In 2015, I told the Lord, like, I will use my gifts and my talents for You, God. And I've been doing that ever since, you know, and I'm in ministry, but I'm also— I'm honestly just writing music that I know people need to hear. There's a hurt Broken world out there. And the last thing they need to hear are things that just please their flesh. It even says in Scripture that we're, you know, we want to please our flesh, but His desires are not always our desires, our fleshly desires.
Laurel Taylor [00:07:17]: We have to crucify that every day, you know. And if I wanted to be Laurel, I wouldn't be in ministry. I wouldn't be a Christian. You know, I'd go do whatever I wanted to do, you know. And so it's super cool to see how the Lord is slowly and surely making His desires my desires.
The Breaking Point
Chrissy Kirkman [00:07:38]: That's beautiful. Was there a specific breaking point? Like, was there one night that you felt the Lord? Or like, how did that— you know, where was God showing up for you in that scene?Laurel Taylor [00:07:52]: Yeah, I lost everything pretty quickly. I was actually engaged to this girl, and I knew that wasn't the path God had for me. And I just kind of like got fired from all the gigs I was playing. Like, it didn't make any sense. Like, booking agents were calling me and Saying, hey, I mean, I had this one lady call me legit and say, like, I don't really know what this means, but you're not supposed to go with us. And I'm sorry. You know, they were so for me. It was some Florida tour.
Laurel Taylor [00:08:32]: I don't even remember now. But it was— it doesn't make sense. It's like, hey, this isn't where you're supposed to be. I had so many people in the secular scene tell me, This isn't you. And I'm like, huh? Yes, it is. Like, how are you going to tell me?
Chrissy Kirkman [00:08:48]: You know? Right. Like, wasn't that said on American Idol?
Laurel Taylor [00:08:51]: That's what they say on American Idol. J.Lo said, you don't know who you are. How are you going to tell me I don't know who I am? Like, I'm doing this. I'm pursuing this. And it was like God telling me, hey, like, how about you get right with me first? And then I will give that passion back to you. I will give that desire back to you. And, you know, a lot of things A lot of things fell off. A lot of things faded away.
Laurel Taylor [00:09:13]: But what stayed is what needed to stay: the drive, the passion, the love of music, the gift that He's given me, the talent that He's given me. Now He just wants to throw an anointing on it, right? And He's like, I bless this. You know, and the turning point was just losing everything, completely losing everything. And I made the decision to go home. And I left everything behind.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:09:35]: Wow.
Laurel Taylor [00:09:36]: Everything. I cut them off and people thought I just fell off the face of the earth. And I had to, though. That's how I— you know, everybody works differently with the Lord. Like, I had to cold turkey just do it. I couldn't talk to certain people and make things okay and then say, hey, I've made a decision. No, like, I had to run and I had to run fast and I had to run hard. And I ran into the arms of Jesus.
Laurel Taylor [00:10:00]: I ran the absolute other way.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:10:01]: Wow.
Laurel Taylor [00:10:03]: And I've struggled every day, all day. But God is right there with me. And I know I'm in His will.
Coming Home to Her Family
Chrissy Kirkman [00:10:13]: And what was the reception when you, when you said, I want to come home? Like, how did that look?Laurel Taylor [00:10:18]: Oh, that was like the prodigal son when he came home on the driveway and he's walking. I just felt that way with my mom. It was actually close to her birthday. And, you know, we haven't been talking because, you know, sin and light don't mix. Sin and God don't mix. And so, like, there's things that she didn't agree with and there's things I didn't agree with her. And so you just couldn't have a conversation. So we just kind of kept it as, I love you, have a good day, you know, nothing more, or we'd be upset.
Laurel Taylor [00:10:48]: And then so coming home in January was super like, I was a little embarrassed. Um, but at the same time, like, the enemy was telling me, they're not going to receive you. Um, you're an idiot. You don't even need to go home. This isn't— you've embarrassed yourself. You've lost all trust. And, uh, she— when I tell you, she had open arms and wouldn't let me go.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:11:16]: Oh. At all.
Laurel Taylor [00:11:17]: And, uh, and I kept saying, like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, and hey, and I I love you. And she's like, I love you, Laurel, and I'm so glad you're home. And it's been that way ever since. You know, my trust, it just built again. The love, me and her, it built again. My dad, my whole family, they prayed for me. I mean, it didn't just take place of me coming back to Jesus. It took place in my whole family, people hitting their knees for me.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:11:47]: Wow.
Laurel Taylor [00:11:48]: Creating prayer warrior rooms. And it took a lot because the enemy fought and fought and fought, and he didn't win.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:11:58]: Praise God.
Laurel Taylor [00:11:58]: He wanted to because he knew, he knew that if I got it, I was going to work for the kingdom. And so he wanted to stop that, everything he could do to stop it.v Chrissy Kirkman [00:12:06]: So that sounds like a, like a full restoration took place.
Laurel Taylor [00:12:13]: Yeah.
Four Songs as a Path to Healing
Chrissy Kirkman [00:12:13]: That's beautiful. So when I look at your songs, like we had talked in our pre-production call about, there are 4 songs— like, I love everything I've ever heard with your name on it. I have a whole Spotify playlist just pumped up with your songs, and I crank them up. And when I was thinking of these 4 songs that have really accompanied my healing, maybe not from the beginning, but because I just discovered you— Maybe sometime early last year, through a Spotify playlist, someone else's playlist. And I think I heard Sound of Freedom first. But, but when I think of these songs, and I think of how they connect to the healing journey that someone goes through when they're breaking free from food and body image issues, eating disorders, disordered eating, Self-loathing. But, but these can— they apply to so many situations, so many scenarios. If someone just wants to be healed from anything that they're struggling with, if it's trauma, if it's pornography, if it's infidelity, there's so many things.Chrissy Kirkman [00:13:24]: Parental struggles. The first song, I feel like it's almost like they kind of go in an order. Like, Healed. There's a— your song Healed. It's that longing for healing and breakthrough. If I could just touch the hem of his garment, I would be healed. And so then you, you, you know, want the healing, and then you get healed. But then it's the next step that you take, even maybe that first step after like, Lord, help me, I'm going to take that first step.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:13:56]: And you have a song called One Step. It's, I'm going to take one step at a time. And that's that moving toward freedom, walking in obedience. What are your next right steps for you at the time? And it doesn't mean you maybe won't take a step back. Like, Laurel, you just said you have struggled, you struggle daily. We live in a fallen world. We are in a world of a culture that is coming at us, and we have so many distractions and temptations. It's not different than biblical times at all.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:14:26]: But But just taking one step at a time. And then you have a song called Sound of Freedom, which is the first one I heard. It is so good. And as I was hearing you share your story about coming home and feeling like the embrace of your family, and how you had to cut everything off, coldly just cut it off and run from it, and it's in the past, that I can feel that now when I think of Sound of Freedom. Because It's, I hear the sound of freedom. Like, we're cranking it up. And you're walking, you're praying, you're seeking. And that is what brings the freedom and brings the victory.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:15:07]: And so you're— it's this driving force that you're going toward. And then comes old house, that you've come so far from where— what used to identify you. And you're not who you were. You're not what you've done. God has a new work in you. And so, it's just this order for me in these songs that really hit home, at least for the people that we— that we're working with who want to break free. Laurel, have you ever struggled with food or body image? And if so, you know, how has the Lord helped you with that? Hey, real quick, I want to tell you about a new offering we have created at Finding Balance just for this season. It's called Recover Holiday Freedom.
Recover Holiday Freedom Announcement
Chrissy Kirkman [00:16:00]: So if the holidays already have you bracing yourself instead of looking forward to them, if you're fearing comments about your plate or the diet talk before Thanksgiving even starts, you're not alone. And Jesus doesn't want it to be that way for you this year. Recover Holiday Freedom is an 8-week live group starting Tuesday, October 20th, and offering Christ-centered support for your relationship with food and body during a season when the pressure hits hard. It features video teaching from familiar old-school Food Freedom guests like Travis Stewart, Amy Carlson, Angelica Gonzalez, Heather Creekmore, and more. So for just $49, you can walk through this season supported.Laurel Taylor [00:16:42]: Supported, not alone.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:16:44]: Now, space is limited and an application is required, so please don't wait. Head to findingbalance.com/community to apply.
Laurel on Body Image and the Enemy's Lies
Laurel Taylor [00:16:53]: Okay, back to it. I have, especially like you said, wanting the healing, right? Like, you know, the enemy's going to do everything he can. to stop you from feeling good about yourself, just being positive in general. He's not about positivity. He's all negative, right? He's death. He speaks death over you. And when I first moved home from Nashville, you know, where I live and my culture is the South. And everybody has to be a certain way, look a certain way, get married, you know, all these different things, go to college.Laurel Taylor [00:17:46]: And I don't meet any of those requirements. And when I first moved back, I would look in the mirror and be like, you know, I need to lose weight. And it was the enemy telling me, like, You're fat. You're not, you're not, you know, you're not pretty. No guy's gonna want you looking like that. Even the way you dress, no guy's gonna want that. I mean, just all these different things. And so I will say, even today, I struggle with my appearance of like, sometimes when you put on a shirt, you're like, whoop, let me put on a jacket, you know, to make it look better.
Laurel Taylor [00:18:28]: And it's like, hey, like— God loves you and God sees you and he wants to use you because not everybody looks like that. And maybe you're created to look that way so you can help someone that feels the exact same way, you know. And it's— I'll just use the example. It's like we were talking about, you know, last week and how I wanted to immediately lose weight for my music video. Coming out. And I don't need to do that because, like, who I am is who I am. It's me. And, and I don't want to starve myself and eat certain protein shakes and all these things just because I'm obsessed with what I look like.
Laurel Taylor [00:19:15]: As long as I feel good and I know the Lord is taking care of me and I am growing and I'm staying healthy and just Just healthy. Just stay, like, feel good about yourself. Like, just go on a walk. You ain't gotta bust it. You ain't gotta bust your butt to go running. Like, I hate running, you know? Enjoy the outside. And I don't know, I just, I feel like when it's all— it all starts here. It's all the mindset.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:19:47]: Hmm.
Laurel Taylor [00:19:47]: It's never, it's never not the mindset when you start thinking I mean, if you— if we, we looked in the mirror right now together and we were like just staring at the mirror, you'd be like, dang, like I need to do this and I need to do this. Oh well, I need to get lip filler. Like all these just, you know, things that don't matter. And it's like, hey, like, yeah, the Lord loves you and you're beautiful right, right now, right where you are. And he doesn't want you to change anything. Because you're created very special. And there is someone else in the world just like you that needs to hear the worth that they have. And this is the truth that, you know, I bring.
Laurel Taylor [00:20:30]: And so, yes, definitely have struggled with that.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:20:35]: That's beautiful. Thanks for sharing and being so vulnerable, vulnerable, because so many of us do. We have those thoughts, even the word. fat gives people like, like it's this horrible bad thing. Fat is, is just a neutral word, to be honest. It's not even that. But we've all heard in diet culture that, oh, you're gonna get fat, or you're too fat, or this and that, that like, like it's a bad word. And, um, and God can and is using you and me right where we are in the bodies that we're in.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:21:07]: And there's no more of that feeling like we're canceled out, and he can't use us until these things happen, or we lose this weight, or we tone up or all of that. No, it's no longer a barrier. Because we've decided that mindset, we've decided, I'm going to show up, come as you are. Here I am, send me. I think it's beautiful.
Laurel Taylor [00:21:30]: Yeah.
Speaking Truth Over the Lies
Chrissy Kirkman [00:21:31]: So what truths remind you of who God has called you to be? And how have you shut down the enemy's lies? Like, what lies did you hear? And how did you shut those down?Laurel Taylor [00:21:44]: You know, my song Healed has in the bridge, it says, push past the darkness, I will not fear. Doubt and confusion, you're not welcome here. And all the lies that were said over me, I will sing out a new song, a new melody. And I do that, you know, twice. And, and that's the first part of it. And I would say, like, I wrote that because of high school. Um, it's not that I was bullied, but I wasn't— I mean, I just got a message the other day because of Old House coming out. I got a message from a friend in school that he— I think he was trying to be like nice, but like he reminded me that people made fun of me.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:22:27]: Mm-hmm.
Laurel Taylor [00:22:28]: He was like basically like, I love your new song, And it's crazy that we all made fun of you in high school because you're doing exactly what you said you would do.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:22:37]: Wow.
Laurel Taylor [00:22:38]: And I was like, okay, enemy, like, okay, you know, like, it's like he wanted to make that an attack, but it really wasn't. I was like, yeah, you're right, because I know I was confident in the Lord, you know what I mean? Like, maybe not then, but I know now, you know.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:22:52]: So he— when you say he wanted to make it an attack, he as in the enemy used your friend from high school Not that the friend had an ill intention.
Laurel Taylor [00:23:02]: Yeah, I don't think he did. I just think he was basically reminding me like, hey, people made fun of you in school. And it wasn't like a, you know, a bully and all that. It was basically just like, okay, you're gonna do music, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, okay, Laurel, you know. And, um, I was not very smart when it comes to book smart. But I have a lot of street smart, and I have spiritual wisdom. And I take that over book smart all day, and discernment, you know. And so those things that I wrote about, pushing past the darkness and the fear and the lies of the enemy, then I speak to it and say, you rescued me from the grave.
Laurel Taylor [00:23:45]: I am saved. You called my name. I mean, you rescued me from the dead. I am saved. You called my name. I ran out of the grave. And now I'm declaring every day that I'm healed. I remind myself who I am in Christ and where He has taken me from.
Laurel Taylor [00:24:01]: Even now, doing the country stuff and pushing into this new world of believers and unbelievers, it's very different. It's like, you know what? Like, He took me there for a reason. And now he's sending me back for a reason, because he knows the truth I have and that I carry. And the enemy just wants to remind me, hey, like, you ain't changed, you're the same. Like, that's not, that's not true. And that's how I apply the word of God to it every single day. That's, that's your, that's your biggest, you know, weapon is your sword, right? And, um, I always, you know, every day when I wake up, I say, like, I, I put on the The armor, you know, and truly, like, I know that sounds like a little kid answer, but you can't be touched when the armor's on you. And yeah, and there's a reason.
Laurel Taylor [00:24:55]: I mean, I don't carry around my Bible everywhere, but sometimes I'll tell you, when I feel defeated, I will— this is so weird, but I will lay on my Bible because I feel like there's a protection there. Isn't that weird?
Chrissy Kirkman [00:25:11]: It's not weird. No, it's not weird. It's actually You're drawing into his word, like physically, it's a— it's— you're experiencing it in a— with a physical touch. Yeah.
Laurel Taylor [00:25:23]: So yeah, that's— I just, I just speak truth over those lies, you know.
Healed, One Step, and Sound of Freedom
Chrissy Kirkman [00:25:28]: So it's beautiful. Um, so you, you kind of gave us an insight of Healed. Talk us through One Step, and let's just kind of go through the order of— go to One Step, um, Sound of Freedom, and then Old House.Laurel Taylor [00:25:43]: Yeah, let's do it. Okay, so, you know, we talked about healed and how you want that healing. You long for that healing. Well, once you get the healing, right, you've got to be like taught and discipled how to take one step at a time. And that's where the song comes from. It's just like, it says, I know it gets hard when you cannot see, but you can't stop. Like, basically everything was, I can't stop this, can't stop this. I know it's going to be hard.
Laurel Taylor [00:26:12]: I know it's going to be worth it though. And you've got to just keep taking one step at a time. And then the bridge breaks it down and says, I know He's coming back for us. And that means a lot too, because you're not always going to have to take that one step. When the Lord comes back, there's your reward. You're going to be in heaven and you're going to be whole, completely whole. There will be no more pain. There will be no more fear, anxiety, depression, any struggle that will just Pass away when this world passes away, right? And so that would be one step.
Laurel Taylor [00:26:45]: And then once you take the one step, you're walking into freedom. And then once you start walking so much, you literally walk for your freedom. And so it's kind of like, this is crazy, but I kind of think about like marches in different organizations, how they march for— they're marching for a reason. They're not just marching. They're marching for a freedom of somebody, or they're marching because someone has cancer or someone's sick. Like, they're marching. And in a way, I'm not going to over-spiritualize it, but in a way, they're like walking and praying for them. You know, they're standing up for them.
Laurel Taylor [00:27:30]: And so you got to do that for yourself in Sound of Freedom. You're walking for your freedom. Even if you don't see it yet, you're still walking and you're yearning for breakthrough. You're longing for breakthrough. And when you get that breakthrough, it becomes a part of you. It becomes your identity in Christ. You start knowing, oh, this is what I was supposed to do the whole time. Oh, this was wrong.
Laurel Taylor [00:27:54]: Let's throw it out. Oh, this is right. Let's keep this. Let's craft this every day. Like, He starts shaping you and showing you your True identity and not what the world has told you this whole time and feeding you these things that just make you feel good. But this is exactly what you were called to do. And then when you're walking in that freedom, eventually your past just becomes your old house.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:28:17]: Mm-hmm.
Laurel Taylor [00:28:18]: And so even, um, I told you this when we talked, I, I didn't even have that victory yet. I was walking in this freedom. And I didn't even see that victory. I didn't see that breakthrough at all. And so when I wrote that song over my life a year later, it broke.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:28:38]: Which is so amazing to me because I don't— I hear that song from a— like, I just, I think everyone's probably going to assume unless they hear this and have the, you know, the context that you've just given us. But like, when you would hear this song, you would expect that, wow, this person lived this. They, they get it because they just lived it. They just walked out and that's their past. But it's not almost like not a foreshadowing, but it's like you're speaking it. You're writing it. Yeah, this is, this is happening. I'm declaring it.
Laurel Taylor [00:29:10]: Mm-hmm. So this will blow your mind. Okay? This will blow your mind. I wrote Old House 2 years ago. Sound of Freedom was written 3, 4 years ago. I put Sound of Freedom out, and when I put Sound of Freedom out, Old House was already written. Okay, so think about that. I released Sound of Freedom first.
Laurel Taylor [00:29:34]: 2 weeks later, I get the breakthrough from what I was writing about Old House.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:29:39]: Wow.
Laurel Taylor [00:29:40]: That's what blows my mind is like, I got the victory the month of May when I released Sound of Freedom. And then a year down the road, I'm releasing Old House, right? I just— it's crazy.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:29:52]: It's God. It's God in the details of it. It's God providing and knowing exactly what we need when we need it. It's you and the Lord coming together. It's the Holy Spirit in it. Yes.
Laurel Taylor [00:30:09]: Yeah. So good. So good.
The Story Behind Old House
Chrissy Kirkman [00:30:11]: So talk to us a little more about Old House. I'm so excited to hear this.Laurel Taylor [00:30:16]: Yeah, so, uh, actually me and my mom were sitting and, um, we were talking about a sign that we saw that said, you know, bringing up my past is like robbing a house that no longer lives there. And I was like, dang, you know, you see those, those church signs that have the—
Chrissy Kirkman [00:30:33]: Oh yeah, marquee.
Laurel Taylor [00:30:35]: It's just so many different, you know, and for once I was like, oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. Let's, let's Let's talk about that. And so originally, the chorus was a little basically saying, if you're trying to find me, I don't live there now. I've got a new address. And that was my old house. That was the first cut of it. You know, I had a year to sit on it.
Laurel Taylor [00:31:04]: So I just knew that there was something That it— the song is a gift. It's not just because I sing it, and it's not just because I'm the artist of it. It's a gift to this world.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:31:17]: I agree.
Laurel Taylor [00:31:18]: Because the Lord wants this song out and heard, and every person that hears it can't deny, like, there's something there. And it's not my voice, it's not the talent, it's— there's something in the song that pierces them straight to their core. And it's like I said yesterday in a video shoot, I said, if you don't— maybe you don't want to hear the song, but maybe you need this song. There's a big difference. And when you're involved with something where you know you don't need to be there, the last thing you want to hear, especially if you're willingly doing it, the last thing you want to hear is— get out, walk away. You're like, no, no, but like, I gotta stay here because it's my comfort. This is my security. But like I said, just run as hard as you can into the arms of Jesus.
Laurel Taylor [00:32:12]: Just take a chance, right? I mean, what do you have to lose? You didn't—
Chrissy Kirkman [00:32:16]: Right.
Laurel Taylor [00:32:16]: You know, you got everything. You lost everything, right? So, um, the first verse, it pretty much breaks it down. This old house that you just don't want to live in, you don't want to be there. Um, Bars on the window, in the drive a broke-down car, the roof is caving in, there's trash in the yard. Just basically putting this thing out that like, hey, if my friend lived there, I'd be like, let's go to my house. You don't have to go to here.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:32:37]: Undesirable.
Laurel Taylor [00:32:39]: Yeah. So that was the first part. And then the chorus is talking about, if you're trying to find me, I don't live there now. And the second verse, it even goes deeper. Okay, you're in the house. And you've chose to live in this house. There's a deepness of— and this goes back to eating disorder, all these different struggles we have. It doesn't matter what it is, anger, pride, alcohol, anything.
Laurel Taylor [00:33:06]: It's your worth. It's how much do you believe you're worth? How much do you see you're worth? Like, if you see a little bit, well then that's what you're going to get. That's exactly— it's going to line up with where you are right now, right? But we need to continue to push. Like, no, I know I can get there. Okay, once I'm there, I know I can get there. Don't stay complacent in that one spot. And the second verse talks about, I told myself so many lies and I started to believe them, that those window shades could hide the shame and the hurt that I was feeling. I wore a mask.
Laurel Taylor [00:33:45]: I said I was okay. My music was doing great. Didn't know about the Lord, though. I wore this mask routine day to day to day, continued to go back to that house, telling myself lies that I'm going to stay here. This is my life. I don't need anything else. I'm taken care of in the moment. But God had so much more for me.
Laurel Taylor [00:34:10]: And then let me give you a flip side of it. A friend of mine in the music industry just lost his dad 5 months ago.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:34:20]: Hmm.
Laurel Taylor [00:34:20]: He said, you know, you didn't write the song for me, but I want to tell you how this speaks to me. He's grieving the death of his dad and he knows he has to let go. So to him, this is not a, oh, I was a partier, I was a drinker. This is a, hey, that was my old house and you don't live there anymore. That was his old house that his, you know, he can always have the memories. He can always carry that with him, but he's got to move on physically. He's got to get out. He can't stay in that depressed, you know, that life.
Laurel Taylor [00:34:55]: God has so much more for him and purpose. And so the song writes and says, Um, uh, the chorus is, if you're trying to find me, I don't live there now. I got a new place where I stay. That was my old house, and it's so much better than a broken-down life in a dead-end part of town. Yeah, that was my old house, but I don't live there now. So basically moves you out of the house and says, I'm not there anymore. And no matter how much you look and no matter how much you want to call me those labels, I know in my mind, I know in my heart, I don't live there. I don't know.
Laurel Taylor [00:35:43]: I would say, like, no matter what you're doing, you know, no matter what you're doing and what life you're in, like, as long as you're in obedience to the Lord, that's where the blessing comes. That's where his favor comes. And sometimes it doesn't make sense to me because I'm like, Lord, did you see me cut off that person or even be ugly? You know, like whatever. And it's like, but yet you just gave me this over here. And it's like, he knows your heart. And some people, I just, I feel like you talk to some people that just don't realize, like, stop being so hard on yourself. You know, like, He knows your heart. If you cuss somebody out under your breath, like, okay.
Laurel Taylor [00:36:28]: But like, if you're sincerely sorry and you're not just going to, you know, just keep doing it, you know what I mean? Like, that's what means the most to me is like, God knows my heart and He knows that I want this more than anything, the kingdom, to work in the kingdom and just serve Him for all the days of my life. You know, I really have given up. on being discovered. You know what I mean? I'm very grateful for all the opportunities and every chance I get, but that used to be a make it or break it for me. That was my identity. Music was my identity. And it's like, if He took that guitar away and that voice away, what would I do? I'd still share the Good News and I'd still share my testimony. And that's okay.
Laurel Taylor [00:37:18]: If I never made music again, I would be okay with that. Now, would I pay my bills? Probably not.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:37:26]: But— Right. No, I'd be—
Laurel Taylor [00:37:30]: This is my life. This is my career. But it's so cool to have a career that I can share the good news of the Lord. And some people tell me I'm doing it wrong. You know, some people say, You know, in the Christian scene or country scene or pop scene, like there's a line. When you cross that line, they don't like it. And I just want to go where the church isn't going. And nobody said I was perfect doing those things, but I'm willing to go where the church doesn't go.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:38:05]: That's good. And I'm proud of you for that. Because that's hard. You're— what you're walking, a harder road than most people are willing to take, and God's going to honor that. I want to affirm that in you. Like, God will honor that. You know he will too.
Laurel Taylor [00:38:19]: Yeah, I, I get so nervous with some of my interviews, and it's just hard because, you know, not everybody wants to talk about the Lord, and not everybody wants to talk about the miracles and the power of the Lord. And that's hard for me because, like, I'm like, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Him. And so it's difficult. But then they leave and they're like, there was something about her. I was like, that's called Holy Spirit.
The Last Time Laurel Experienced True Freedom
Chrissy Kirkman [00:38:47]: Yeah. So, Laurel, to wrap this episode up, will you describe to us the last time you experienced true freedom?Laurel Taylor [00:38:55]: Without saying that I experience freedom every day from something, that's obvious. But, you know, when I made the decision to not worry about anybody else, the voices that mean absolutely nothing to me on this earth, that's when I experienced true freedom is I walked in it. Like, even my parents, you know, they're so supportive, but in the end, like— Laurel is going to do what the shepherd's voice says, right?
Chrissy Kirkman [00:39:33]: Yeah.
Laurel Taylor [00:39:34]: And people have so many opinions about what you're supposed to do and how you're supposed to do it and who you're supposed to hang out with and who you're supposed to be around and who you're supposed to run with. And it's like, hey, like, how about this? How about you worry about the food on your plate?
Chrissy Kirkman [00:39:56]: Okay.
Laurel Taylor [00:39:57]: And let God speak to me and trust that God will talk to me and trust me that I will listen and hear his voice. Because trust what he's done, he didn't halfway do, right? They always— I'll tell you this, you'll laugh. You will laugh. And I hope you add this in the thing. Someone told me one day They, you know, people say, well, what do you bring to the table? You know what you say? You say, baby, I am the table. I just need you to pull up a chair and sit down.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:40:33]: Yes, come on.
Laurel Taylor [00:40:36]: I mean, you are so confident in the Lord, right? It's a prideful thing. I'm confident in what God's doing in me. And when I knew in my heart I'm doing what I need to be doing, that is when I started walking in True freedom, not worrying about anybody else.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:40:52]: That's so great. I will also add this. One of my good friends who lives in Arkansas, it just fits here. She, she said, mind your own bobber. Like, watch your own bobber when we're fishing. Don't look at what's going on with mine. It's the same kind of thing. Mind your bobber.
Laurel Taylor [00:41:11]: Yeah. Right.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:41:13]: Yeah.
Laurel Taylor [00:41:14]: That's so good.
Closing the Conversation
Chrissy Kirkman [00:41:16]: Laurel, thank you so much for being on today on the show today. I'm— it was just a wonderful time. Um, I pray that you can come on again, um, and we can have some more deep discussion together.Laurel Taylor [00:41:28]: Absolutely. I'm so glad I was on here. It was such a refreshment, truly. You know, it's just so cool to just talk about the Lord even more, you know.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:41:36]: Absolutely. Yeah. And everyone, um, I'll have all kinds of links in the show notes for, um, how you can listen to Laurel and connect with her. And you need to follow her on Instagram. She's really fun to watch. And yeah, I hope that Old House does really well. And I'm looking forward to the song that is released on Mother's Day. It's going to be another tearjerker based on what you sang for me the other day.
Chrissy Kirkman [00:42:01]: I can't wait for everyone to hear it.
Laurel Taylor [00:42:03]: Thank you so much.
Thank You for Listening
Chrissy Kirkman [00:42:09]: Thank you for listening to the Old School Food Freedom Podcast. For over 20 years, Finding Balance has been helping people walk in freedom by discovering where Jesus fits into their struggles with food and body image. If you want more biblical truth and encouragement, head on over to findingbalance.com and subscribe to our free daily vitamin devotional. While you're there, explore our Christ-centered Lasting Freedom online course and small Group tools. You can help keep this ministry going by donating today at findingbalance.com. See you next time. The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or prescribe a particular course of action. If you or someone you care about is battling an eating disorder and is experiencing unmanageable thoughts or feelings, please call 911 if in the US or visit your nearest emergency room.More about the Old School Food Freedom Podcast
In today’s diet-culture society, food issues and body hatred have become the norm. But you were created to be FREE. Welcome to Old School Food Freedom, where we go back to the basics, God’s basics, for how we view food, our bodies, and our worth.
Hosted by FINDINGbalance Executive Director Chrissy Kirkman, this podcast features Biblically sound experts, thought leaders, artists, and everyday people who will inspire you to interrupt negative cultural soundtracks and rediscover God’s original design for your relationship with food and your body.
This show will deliver practical, faith-filled insights on how to break free from diet culture and body shame through the lens of Scripture. If you’re looking for guidance on how to heal your relationship with food while deepening your faith, you're in the right place.
We’ll answer questions like
What does the Bible say about food freedom?
How can I overcome an eating disorder or disordered eating with Jesus?
What is the biblical perspective on diet culture?
How can I find peace with food as a Christian?
What does it mean to treat your body as a temple in relation to eating?
How can I break free from diet culture with Jesus?
How can I align my eating habits with biblical teachings?
What are the first steps to finding food freedom in Christ?
This podcast is for anyone ready to walk away from diet culture and into the freedom that Christ offers. Whether you’re recovering from an eating disorder, disordered eating, wrestling with body image, or simply craving a more peaceful relationship with food, this space was made for you.
If you want to experience true food freedom with Jesus, this podcast will give you the encouragement, truth, and tools to do just that.
