What If Food Isn’t The Whole Story?
But over the years, I've begun to wonder if food has often been pointing me toward something much deeper.
I don't know about you, but the tension between self-sufficiency and relying on God feels like a dance whose steps change every season. The more I've reflected on my own story, the more I've realized my struggle wasn’t only about food. I was struggling to trust God with places that felt uncertain, overwhelming, or painful.
The Illusion of Control
Control rarely looks like a struggle — it looks like competence. What appears as discipline to the world — a carefully managed body, a tightly run schedule, a life with no loose ends — can quietly become a substitute for trusting in God. And it only deepens with every bit of praise from people I love. This was my personal experience with control. The affirmation and positive feedback from others fed the idol I had created.
Control often feels safer than surrender. Though I know my God is good, the enemy convinces me that self-reliance is better…
“My Flesh and My Heart May Fail” But God
Control became my idol, although I didn’t recognize it as such for many years. I believed that if I managed my body, I could manage my life — and maybe win people’s approval. But the truth was, I was enslaved to lies. My identity was rooted in performance, not in God’s unchanging love.