Step by Step
I am in a season of life where a lot of big decisions need to be made. Can I say that I hate making decisions, especially big ones? I would rather make a quick decision and live with the consequences than take the time to think things through. If I am honest with myself, it is the uncertainty that I struggle with. Once the decision is made, I know the direction I am heading. I can move forward; I can act. It is that period when I am approaching the intersection, debating and weighing options that is so hard for me to sit in. The fact of the matter is that much of life is uncertainty, much of life is spent making decisions both big and little.
The road to recovery is no exception. Often on our journey to healing there are more questions than there are answers. Emotions come out of nowhere and catch us off guard. Plans change, things happen, words are said that can leave our heads spinning. How should we react? And what if we are wrong? Why does this hurt so much? Which way is up?!?
So how do our hearts handle this?
The Lord has brought this verse to mind repeatedly over the past couple of months.
“Many are the plans of a man’s heart, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)
This verse brings me such comfort. In my own words, “many are the decisions that I need to make, but the Lord will direct my steps.” I can plan and research and debate all I want but ultimately if I ask Him, the Lord will guide me step by step. Steps are the action part of the verse. Plans and decisions go nowhere without steps, and when we give our steps to the Lord, He will get us to our destination.
Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.” (NLT) The Bible is one of God’s ways to guide or steps. It is a lamp to our feet. So often I wish it were a floodlight on my feet. God in His sovereignty offers a lamp not a floodlight so that His little sheep does not go jumping ahead of Him…because I would.
As I have pondered these two verses looking into the weeks and months ahead, my prayers have changed. There is nothing wrong with praying big prayers for clarity and direction. I have prayed many prayers asking for a clear path ahead. The Lord hears those prayers. But my prayers have been simplified. “Lord, direct my steps today.” May the people I cross path with today, the conversations of today, the tasks of today and the questions of today all be guided by my loving Father. The steps of today will usher me into tomorrow, and that is enough. I don’t need to know the big picture, I just need to trust the One who has it.
Oof! As I type this, the words hit hard. I am not there yet. It is journey, a daily struggle – sometimes by the minute. Each time I practice the act of releasing my steps to Him, it becomes a little easier. The knot in my stomach loosens as my grasp of His hand tightens. And my faith muscle grows just a tiny bit more.
Fellow travelers on this uncertain road of recovery, join me as we release our grip on certainty and instead grasp onto the might hand of our Father. As a small child holds tightly onto her daddy’s finger as she crosses the road, let us squeeze our Daddy’s finger in full confidence that He will take us safely across the decisions of life.
- Tammy Boyd
FINDINGbalance Prayer Group Coordinator & Group Leader. Mom of Boys. Family Chauffeur. Lover of Laughter. Community Creator. Freedom Chaser. Overcomer.
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