I am fourteen years old, 5’1” and 137 pounds. According to the BMI scale, I am overweight. I am so worried about my appearance that I literally spend my whole day worrying about my weight. I recently read on the internet that there was an eating disorder where people eat too much and then go to extremes to work it off. That exactly met me. Recently when I visited relatives in London, I was told “I did not look my age” and that “I was too fat” I want to lose up to 37 pounds by June 15th because I will be visiting more relatives and I am afraid they will say the same things. I currently wear I size 7-9 in juniors and I want to get down to size 3. I am constantly eating and cannot stop. I have tried starvation diets but they always end with me eating too much. I am also working out but I continue to eat too much. I cannot stop eating sweets no matter what I do. I have been eating sweets ever since I was little and I just cannot stop. I want to lose weight especially in my arms and stomach. I have an hourglass figure so I have really big hips which I would like to reduce too. I really need help because I am so depressed about this and I keep thinking about it all the time. Just last year, I was 115 pounds but around September I put on a lot of weight. I want to get to normal weight for my age and height. Please, please help me. I am in desperate need!! – Natalie
Dear Natalie,
To start off, I want to assure you that there is nothing abnormal about your body. Considering the comments people have made, it’s easy to understand why you are worried and upset. But with some help, you are going to be just fine.
First, we have to learn not to listen to people’s insensitive comments—even if they are relatives. Girls your age mature, grow and develop in very different ways and at different rates. There is nothing wrong with your body and the way it is shaped. We are not all designed to have the same figures; yours (along with millions of others) just happens to be curvy. Don’t give in to pressures to be unnaturally thin. At your age, your body is still changing, and you may be the kind of person who rounds out before getting taller. Even if you don’t grow taller, your natural body shape is just right for you.
Also, let me advise you not to focus much on weight charts, BMI scales and clothing sizes. They don’t measure your overall health or who you are as a person. Instead, put your energy into becoming a beautiful person on the inside. Also, don’t compare your body to others. Appreciate how amazing it is, and all the wonderful things it does each and every day. Respect and take good care of it.
Which brings us to your eating. You’ve already learned that starvation diets don’t work – you end up so ravenous that you find yourself eating uncontrollably latter. You’ve found that when you try to ban sweets from your life, you end up bingeing. What you need to do is to develop good eating habits, select healthy foods for most meals, and allow yourself to enjoy small amounts of sweets (as part of some meals; not to snack on). Go to the “Eat Well, Live Well” section of this site, and read some of the articles—especially “A Healthy Diet for a Healthy Weight” and “Eating Treat Foods Without Guilt.”
When you start to make eating well a way of life, along with finding a form of exercise that you can enjoy and stick with, your weight will fall at what is healthiest for your body type. Try not to set a goal for a certain number of pounds or a specific dress size in a certain number of weeks – your well being is what matters. Set goals for making positive changes that will make you healthy. These will result in long-lasting changes that will make you feel and look your best in the long run. Trying to rush this process will only lead to bad choices and more troubles.
To help you get started in implementing some of the suggestions I’m making, I think it would be good for you to see a therapist or registered dietitian who specializes in eating disorders. I’m so glad that you wrote to us. You were headed down a road of heartaches, and now you can turn down a much more positive path.
Ann