As I reminisce back over my life, I am amazed at all the lies I believed about who I was and how I was made. Those lying messages were the main source that guided my everyday life. Of course, I didn’t realize at the time how bizarre and deceptive they were.
As I endured the dark hell of anorexia for many years, that lying voice told me that I was so uniquely “special” that I did not get hungry, nor did I “need” to eat much of anything! It told me that my body signals were “faulty” and that hunger didn’t exist in me. I lived under the anorexia voice telling me that I was not deserving, worthy or “good enough” to have food, therefore, any slight sign of hunger must be ignored and ran from! I so badly wanted to be free from it all. By the grace of God and with His strength, I AM FREE!!
Today, as learn to live in my new life and body, I continually ask God for more truths. He brought a revelation to me last Sunday and it spoke to my heart; He showed me another powerful and mighty weapon to speak to the lies. Mark 11:12 reads, “The next day as they were leaving Bethany, JESUS WAS HUNGRY” (emphasis mine).
Wow….what a revelation to me. Even Jesus got hungry?! The voice of hunger called out to Him and He honored and obeyed it because He was hungry. There was no fear, excuses, debates, negotiating or hesitation. His body spoke; He listened! He fulfilled the hunger which enabled Him to perform for God.
His human form is no different than mine. God made my physical hunger signals the same as every human and all He asks me to do, is hear it, obey and honor it. For so many years, I lived denying my hunger, I tried hard to ignore it, cover it up and shove it away as a nuisance. I was ashamed to admit that I was hungry, and I was too scared, based on the web of LIES in my head, to admit that I had any personal needs, whether it be for nourishment, self care or anything else.
The TRUTH to those lies is that hunger is normal and natural – we all have it and it is good. It is the voice created in me by God that needs to be nourished in order to thrive and live the life I was created for. If I deny my hunger, I am denying God’s creative plan for life. When I honor my hunger, I am honoring God and glorifying Him by caring for His wonderful creation, my body! As I continue to learn how to nurture my temple, I move even closer to a full recovery and the free life God has planned for me.
In order to truly discover who I am, I reach to God daily for guidance and truth in His word and also to the support I have around me. I continue to look at the wonderful way my body is designed, inside AND out, and I am amazed at how well it speaks for what it needs.
Understanding Hunger and Fullness Cues (Constance Rhodes)
Eleven Keys to a Healthy Lifestyle (Constance Rhodes)