Three weeks ago, I woke up before my alarm by exactly one minute. (This never happens, I get up at 5am and usually snooze at least ten minutes.) But on this day I jumped up, wide awake, with this thought in my head, “I think I’d like to be in recovery.”
A few weeks prior I had made this comment on Facebook: “Soon I will be able to be accurately called ‘a runner’”. A dear friend of mine replied, “Claim it, girl, it’s yours for the taking.”
As I was driving to work (the morning I woke up before my alarm) I was wondering where is the line between struggling with my ED and actually being in recovery, and how and when will I get to and cross that line? When can I say I’m in recovery? I felt in that moment God whisper to my heart, “Claim it, girl, it’s yours for the taking.” Then He smiled and said, “I’m so proud of you.”
Claim it! Choose today to say, live, and believe, “I am in recovery.” This is the moment you can choose to just look at the water or dive in.
Until that moment, I had been looking at the water… Sometimes with longing, sometimes with fear, sometimes turning my back on it. I even touched a toe in once in awhile. But I never committed, and never told anyone. It was too big, too deep, too scary, and too unknown.
Commit. And then tell someone. It won’t be easy, in fact it will be incredibly hard. But once you have stepped in, committed, jumped of the ledge, and told someone, the season called “in recovery” becomes much less frightening. Soon, instead of just trying to keep from drowning, you will actually learn to swim.