Believe it or not, God uses us even in our weakest moments. When we feel unqualified, insecure and scared we have to fully rely on the Lord for strength to make it through the situation. That is where we should be at every moment of our lives. The funny thing is that we think in order for God to use us we have to have everything under control and feel completely confident in ourselves. This is when we are the most prone to fail.
God sees all and knows everything. We only see what is in front of us at the moment. We need to see our insecurities and weak moments differently. When we admit our weakness and need for God, then we are at the point that God can actually work through us and help us succeed.
In my eyes, developing an eating disorder was a horrible situation and I felt so insecure and weak. I did all I could to control this situation and try to stop it but it only got worse. When I re-look at the situation, I see that in that time, through all the long and sad days, and nights full of tears and loneliness, God was stirring in me and teaching and preparing me.
When I was in that pit, I thought that if I could just get my act together I would be okay and just snap out of it and be healed. That process took over 3 years and the whole time I was too stubborn to surrender it all to God, but the moment I let go, life became so much more joyful and finally I saw the worth in living life again.
My constant battle to take control pushed me further and further into a deep hole of depression and discontentment. When God finally got ahold of my heart and opened my eyes I saw the situation in a whole new way and realized that although it was a hard few years, He had still protected me and I came out stronger, knowing the purpose and mission in ministry God has for me.
I know that I couldn’t understand why and how girls feel with an eating disorder if I didn’t suffer through that horrible time. God brought beauty from ashes. The amazing thing about God is that His power is never ending and has no limits. He will go through everything with us, so if we take a leap of faith and turn the moments of weakness into moments of total surrender, God will use us to do awesome things to further his kingdom!
There are so many times when we miss out on things that God wants to bless us with or opportunities to be a light to the world but we feel weak or insecure, so we get held back. This is when we need to remember that with the Lord anything is possible.
Renewal Will Rise, Mallory Monroe