I have this weird problem with food that has been going on for several years now. I pick at cookies, cake, and pastries, etc., leaving them unpleasant for others. I have the urge to just “sample” each and every one, leaving all the food nibbled on. Sometimes I will eat just the frosting off a cake, or the chocolate chips out a cookie, or the cookie dough out of the ice cream. Sometimes I even take a bite of something, and then throw it away. Most the time I have to flush it down the toilet so I don’t pick it out of the garbage. I cannot eat the whole thing, or I will panic. I also steal food, and hoard the food that I steal. I feel like a bad person. I have had EDNOS for 5 years now, and workout like crazy. I really need to break this habit, but was wondering if there is an underlying problem. I feel as if I am the only one that does this. I have to stop. My roommate has caught on, and is enraged by what I have done to the junk food she has laying around. She even posted on an online journal what I have done, so now everyone knows. I have to stop. – anonymous
I am so sorry that you had your trust betrayed. I realize how awful and “weird” you must feel. However, you are not alone! You are describing fairy typical behaviors of someone with an eating disorder.
And, yes there is always something underlying these disorders. Lots of people hoard things, you happen to hoard food – it’s attached to your ED. I think it would be great to find a good therapist who can help you out with this. Be sure they know how to treat eating disorders though. See “Finding Treatment” for guidance.
Good luck to you, and please don’t think there is anything at all “weird” or “strange” about you… it’s not you, it’s the “eating disorder.”
Take good care of you.
Nicole Bourquin, M.S.