About 2 years ago, I weighed 160 pounds at 5’6″, so I was overweight, as I had been much of my life. Not fitting into a bridesmaid’s dress motivated me to lose weight and I began to restrict my eating some and joined the gym. In a year and a half my weight dropped to 140. When my boyfriend broke-up with me recently, I became clinically depressed and dropped another 15 pounds. I am now 125. I look great, but my-ex and a few others are concerned about my eating habits. When I was so depressed I had no appetite and I think I’ve gotten into the habit of not eating all the time. When I am in a particularly bad mood I certainly don’t eat, but I realize it is not just the depression anymore, which has lifted for the most part. I don’t eat dinner unless I am out with people who will notice. Should I really be concerned with my bad eating habits? I certainly don’t want to weigh 160 ever again. I am not underweight, and I do eat–it’s just not 3 regular meals a day. Do I fall in the EDNOS category? What do I say to my ex who still calls me to ask me what I ate that day? – e.e.
I’m glad you asked the questions you did. Many times our challenges with food start after we feel ashamed of our weight. Soon moderate weight loss can become an obsession. But when we use avoidance of food as a way to deal with sadness and disappointment, it resolves very little. When we experience a breakup, for example, it’s normal to grieve. Could it be that you and your ex now are bonded by your eating problems?
I understand that you are afraid of being overweight. Ask yourself how much that fear rules you. Mindful, conscious and healthy eating helps us to feel really free from that fear. And since dietitians tell us that not eating at least three meals a day can SLOW down our metabolism, I would encourage you to try and get more regular with your meals.
Lastly, I would encourage your ex to let go of responsibility for your eating. Even though it can seem helpful, it can actually trigger more problems when someone monitors our eating. We have to change for ourselves, no one else. I want to urge you to seek other sources of support. You also deserve to enjoy life and devote your energy toward more fulfilling goals. Please take care.