My affair with anorexia began when I was a sophomore in high school. I was a type-A who wanted to “please” God by eating “perfectly”. I wanted to fit in with the girls at school by being athletic and trim. In short, I was the perfect storm for an eating disorder, and my life spiraled out of control. Thankfully, my parents recognized the severity of my food issues and formed an amazing team of counselors and doctors in an effort to help save my life.
After months of outpatient therapy, I found myself at the one-year mark with no true intentions of changing. My counselor told me that she wasn’t sure what to do with me – she had tried everything. It was as if time stood still, and all of the sudden I realized the graveness of it all. This wasn’t about eating perfectly or being thin. This was about not losing my life.
That was the first light bulb moment, but it took many of these moments strung together to bring about my recovery. Recovery didn’t come overnight. As I took tiny steps in the right direction, I began to see glimpses of freedom. I came to the place where I truly wanted to experience the full life that God had planned for me, and I knew that anorexia didn’t fit into that plan.
My counselor told me one day to draw a picture of my goal. I chose to draw a baby in the womb. I knew that I must be in recovery to bear children and be a healthy mother. That goal stuck with me and encouraged me to stay the course.
A few years ago, I was at a place in my recovery that I felt I could achieve the goal of a healthy pregnancy. However, my husband and I sadly encountered infertility. My goal was shaken, and so was I. But through it all, God continued to heal me. He softened my heart to a new goal, which was to foster and adopt children. I began to realize that my freedom from anorexia was just as important in fostering and adopting as it was in bearing biological children.
On March, 23,2013, I decided to finally claim that I was recovered. I wrote the following statement in my journal to God:
“I declare that You have brought me through the recovery stage, and I am now recovered. The past ten years are behind me, and I’m excited to see what the next ten hold.”
Later that day, I was in a foster care meeting and was told about a sibling group of three young girls who needed a home. Those sweet girls have now lived with us for four months. Recovery in Christ has made it all possible.
Young Teen’s Mom In On a Diet – Following in Her Footsteps, ask our panel response
Taking Care of My Kids by Taking Care of Myself, by Eugene Hung
“Mom, I Feel Fat“, book resource by Sharon A. Hersh, LPC