I don’t like to think of myself as a control freak. I prefer to think of myself as prepared for things. Responsible. Ready. And the people I describe as control freaks are the sort that I wouldn’t want to be: harried, paranoid, and wearing their stress almost as visibly as a coat. If anything goes wrong, their entire day is over. Who wants that?
But I know me, and there are times when I have felt so out of control. And being pregnant means less control…over a lot.
I was on vacation recently, and while walking around I got really lightheaded and very faint. I chalked it up to more activity than usual and dehydration. No problem; I’d just take it easy for a day or two and drink more water.
But it didn’t just happen once. It happened walking around my apartment, getting out of my car, and especially at work, where I’m on my feet for six to eight hours at a time. My body needed something I wasn’t giving it – and I couldn’t figure out what it was.
What it needed, as it turns out, was less. Less walking, less standing, less movement – at least for a while. My midwife assured me that it was normal: “During pregnancy your blood volume increases, and your arteries are getting ready for the extra blood. But sometimes,” she said, “the blood stays around your legs, and you need to get it up to your head.” In addition, my baby ‘s growing and crowding out my lungs, so my shorter breaths are no help! She prescribed compression pantyhose (boy, do I feel attractive now, haha!), lots more water a day, and sitting when necessary. (Which is way more than I’d like!)
There’s nothing I did to cause this, and aside from following my midwife’s suggestions, there’s not much I can do, which is really hard for me. But when I get frustrated, I try to keep the end result in mind.
Sure, I get out of breath walking from the couch to the fridge for another water refill; and yeah, I have to take it way slower, but I just remember that it’s not forever. It’s not about me. It’s about him – the little one rocking and rolling in there more and more these days. It’s a great feeling, even when the faintness isn’t.
I hope you’re having some great feelings these days too. Until next time…