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From my journal, April
2000:
Let me tell you about my life inside the thin
cage. It is a dark place with little food, little social
interaction, and little freedom. Everything is off-limits.
Everything is based on performance. If I don’t perform well or look
good, then I am not good. I am not allowed to enjoy a piece of cake
or a slice of pizza because if I do, tomorrow I will wake up fat. I
don’t get much social interaction because I scare off any would-be
friends out of my fear of letting them get too close to me. I exist
on water and a few carefully planned meals every day. And
coffee-lots of coffee. And Diet Coke, of course…
Daily I complain to my long-suffering husband…
“My butt is bigger today, isn’t it?” “My stomach didn’t look like
this last month, did it?” “Are you sure I’m not fat?” “I feel so
gross… How can you love me?” It’s a wonder he does, but he does.
I’m grouchy all the time and am constantly
aware of my cruel nature toward people I wish I could be nicer to.
Since everything is about performance and
appearance, a bad hair day can truly ruin me. If my performance ever
slips, I am suddenly in the precarious position of losing my value
to the world. Going anywhere and meeting anyone requires that I look
my best, for people may not like me if they don’t think I’m
attractive and thin. I have a hard time sleeping night.
More than anything, I am alone…
(Excerpted from Life Inside the
‘Thin’ Cage by Constance Rhodes, P5-6, Shaw Books, April 2003)
A few years ago I
thought I had it all. I had a great job, a handsome husband, and –
most importantly – the thin figure I deemed so important. Sure, I
was a little obsessed with my weight, but it seemed a small price to
pay for all the attention I got for being so thin. Until the day I
realized I was sacrificing much more than pizza and dessert in my
quest for the perfect body...
Long story short, I
began to realize for the first time that my obsession with weight
had actually become a cage around me. This cage was keeping me from
having healthy relationships. It stood between me and all the foods
I had once enjoyed without guilt. It prevented me from experiencing
a normal social life. And these things were just the tip of the
iceberg…
It was after that
experience that I wrote the journal entry above, which later opened
the first chapter of my book Life Inside the ‘Thin’ Cage,
much of which is based on my own personal struggles, along with
those of others I’ve met along the way.
Life Inside the
Thin Cage offers hope for people of all sizes who seek to
break out of the confines of weight obsession.
It explores the ‘whys’
behind our obsession, and discusses the thought patterns that most
of us think we’re alone in dealing with. It exposes the little
‘tricks’ we’ve all used to control our weight, from weird eating to
excessive exercise to pills, teas and supplements, and more. On a
practical note, it also features checklists and questions following
each chapter, to help us all ask questions we may not have
considered before.
If you or someone you
care about is struggling with obsessive dieting, binging, purging,
starving, excessive exercise, or constant weight concerns, this book
is for you. For me, seeing my obsession as a ‘cage’ changed
everything when it came to how I viewed weight and eating. My hope
through this website and my book is that others will be helped by
this same visual, and will begin to reclaim the bodies – and the
lives – they’ve unwittingly sacrificed.
Read Full Chapter Excerpt
Buy It Today
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