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By Constance Rhodes
One of the
most important steps in overcoming any type of disordered eating or
weight obsession is to find someone to talk to who can provide
objective advice and help you in your journey toward freedom.
Finding the right person can be difficult – here are some thoughts
to help you in the process.
We often get
asked “What should I look for in finding someone to talk to?” and we
definitely have thoughts on that subject. When seeking a therapist
or counselor, it’s important to determine whether their approach is
balanced to address all aspects of who you are - intellectual,
emotional, physical and spiritual. For example, disordered eating
can have some significant effects upon your physical body. If you
are talking with someone who only focuses on the spiritual side of
your problem (i.e. “Let’s pray about this and it will go away”),
those physical issues are likely to flare back up and trigger you
back into disordered eating patterns. By the same token, if you are
talking with someone who only focuses on the physical (i.e. “What
are you eating?” or “How much do you weigh”), the emotional,
intellectual and spiritual issues contributing to your disordered
behavior will be left unresolved. In order for true recovery to be
made, all four of these areas must be addressed.
Unfortunately, many of us cannot afford the high cost of weekly
therapist sessions and/or in-patient facilities. While there are
certainly times when financial sacrifices should be made in the
interest of health and well-being, sometimes it’s simply not
possible to afford the care that you need. In times like these, I’ll
tell you what I say in my book – God knows exactly what you need,
and he can help get you to the right person. It sounds simplistic, I
know, but I’ve found it to be true. I’ve seen people and churches
‘sponsor’ those in need. I’ve heard stories of funds and/or
insurance coverage being miraculously provided. In my own journey,
God provided someone who didn’t even charge me for our sessions,
though she certainly could have. So if you find yourself ready to
talk, but unsure how to afford it, ask God to give you wisdom for
your next step. And then look for his provision.
Whether you
choose to talk with a therapist, counselor, or close friend about
your struggles, here are some criteria to help make sure you’re
talking to the right person.
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1. |
They must
realize it’s not their ‘job’ to fix you. |
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2. |
They
should operate from a position of acceptance, not condemnation
or judgment. |
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3. |
If not
already familiar, they should try to read up on the subject of
eating disorders, especially the particular type you are dealing
with. |
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4. |
They
should not try to minimize your pain. |
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5. |
They
should be willing to just listen and provide comfort instead of
thinking they must always have the answer. |
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6. |
They
should try to accept your version of past events, even if they
remember them differently. They should also give you time and
permission to be angry. |
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7. |
They
should not try to be your ‘warden’, policing your actions or
making demands. |
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8. |
They
should be willing to honestly share their opinions but allow
room for you to have a differing view. |
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9. |
They must
understand that you need time to work through this properly. |
Source: Hope, Help and Healing for Eating
Disorders, Dr. Gregg Jantz, as featured in Life Inside the
Thin Cage: A Personal Look into the Hidden World of the Chronic
Dieter, by Constance Rhodes. Page 218.
While we do
not have an official “treatment finder” capability on our site,
there are many resources for finding the names of qualified
professionals in your area who specialize in disordered eating and
nutrition counseling. Here are a few of our favorite resources
(check out our ‘links’ page for further details).
Disordered
Eating Referrals
www.somethingfishy.org (fantastic search capabilities)
www.edreferral.com
www.aacc.net
(American Association of Christian Counselors)
www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
Nutritionists/Dietitian Referrals
www.eatright.org
www.dieticians.CA
(Canada)
www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
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