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Why Won’t God Just Take This Away?

Posted on February 7th, 2015 by in Chasing Freedom | 0 Comments  

People say, “I surrendered to God, and He just took it away.” Pastors preach: “If you pray hard enough, you will be healed.” I find myself asking, “Is there something I am doing wrong? Why is this eating disorder thing still an issue for me?” Granted, the eating disorder no longer controls my life. It no longer dictates my every thought, every action, every meal. I am no longer in treatment or going to numerous outpatient doctor visits, but still…

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The Two Extremes

Posted on February 5th, 2015 by in Chasing Freedom | 1 Comment  
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I used to think, in order to be fully recovered from anorexia, I had to be okay with getting fat; I had to no longer care what I looked like. Recovery, in my mind, what I thought all the therapists wanted, was to throw all consideration for appearance out the window. I had to be willing to let myself go. But there’s a long way between those two extremes! I remember trying to force my mind to surrender to that…

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A Legacy of Seeing Beauty

Posted on January 28th, 2015 by in Chasing Freedom | 0 Comments  
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Last weekend I attended a memorial service for my 99-year-old grandmother. ( She passed exactly one month before turning 100.) Just six months ago, I took her to get her nails done, and to Walmart to buy “cold cream”–and of all things–she wanted a padded bra! (She said she didn’t have much up there anymore and it didn’t look right!) As I sat around all the relatives celebrating her life, everyone kept saying the same thing: Grandma LOVED beauty–from lipstick to…

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Misidentified Hunger and The Cure for Emotional Eating

Posted on January 21st, 2015 by in Chasing Freedom | 0 Comments  
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Why do you eat? Be honest now. Most of us don’t eat merely when we’re hungry. We eat because we are sad, angry, happy, lonely, bored…the list goes on. A recent article on medicine.net, stated that 40% of people eat more when they are stressed. They confuse the two very real, very different needs for physical sustenance and emotional support; they seek a solution to emotional pain in food. On the shore of the Sea of Galilee, Jesus spoke to…

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Someone To Live For

Posted on January 8th, 2015 by in Chasing Freedom | 0 Comments  
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We all face difficult situations at some point in our lives. During these times it’s often hard to find the “silver lining.” How can we possibly stay grateful when things seem to be going so wrong? Well that is exactly how I used to feel about my struggle with my eating disorder. One day I finally asked myself “Why did this happen to me?” I knew I had to be going through this for a reason. It had to have…

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It’s a Perspective Issue

Posted on January 1st, 2015 by in Chasing Freedom | 0 Comments  
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We live in a land of abundance. Our electronic innovations allow us to achieve more in less time, yet we are always busy. We have easy access to food via grocery stores on every corner and a variety of fast food restaurants, yet thousands of us struggle with the eating disorders of anorexia and/or bulimia which involve forced starvation and the purging of food through vomiting or exercise. We have our choice of over-the-counter and prescription sleep medications, yet we…

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A New Kind of Balance

Posted on December 30th, 2014 by in Chasing Freedom | 4 Comments  
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In the 2012 Olympics, Gabby Douglas, a USA gymnast, slipped on the balance beam, her favorite event, and forfeited any medal in the competition. It was hard to believe, since just days before she had performed beautifully in qualifications. In the competitive sport of gymnastics, there isn’t real balance. There is pass or fail. For Douglas, it wasn’t enough that she’d performed well previously; past scores did not balance out poor performance and eliminate her loses. She would either make…

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Not My Own

Posted on November 26th, 2014 by in Chasing Freedom | 1 Comment  
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The young boy looked critically at the different posters. Superman, Spiderman or Thor? Which was his favorite? He glanced over at his dad, who waited patiently without offering an opinion. “Which one do you like best, Daddy?” the boy asked. “Son, it doesn’t matter to me. Pick which ever one you want; they’re all pretty cool.” “I’ll go with Thor,” the answer finally came, and a satisfied look came over the little boy’s round face. Daddy selected the rolled up…

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Anything But Thankful

Posted on November 17th, 2014 by in Chasing Freedom | 0 Comments  
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It seems like a thousand years ago. It seems like an entirely different me—and I’m so glad. For years, I dreaded the holiday season. Spicy smells, muted hues, constant company, edible traditions all made me nervous—and not the “I can’t wait for Christmas” kind of nervous. It was more like, “How on earth can I escape this madness without gaining an ounce?” One specific year, I recall we went to my aunt and uncle’s house in Missouri. Our family of…

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Three Weapons for Fighting Off Relapse, Part 2

Posted on November 6th, 2014 by in Chasing Freedom | 0 Comments  
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1. Drown it out. I’ve long known that music is like a healing balm for my soul, but I had forgotten just how powerful praise can be. On my way home from the hospital, I stopped to buy a small bluetooth speaker. The moment, I got home, I selected a worship station on Pandora and turned up the volume. Songs of hope, freedom and praise filled the room. God’s presence became almost tangible as I reminded myself over and over,…

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